We Earth Angels
We Earth Angels struggle with addictions, especially with food.
For me, it was the euphoria of marijuana, the drive for perfectionism, and the satisfying drain of fried food. (P.S. I love cheese sticks!)
As I grew into and out of my adolescence, I found that when I enjoyed something, I had to have it to the extreme. There was no in-between for me. But that's a characteristic of Earth Angels. We have a hard time handling emotions. Another characteristic are traumas and losses, which I also have as well. They will not stop, but God knows I can handle them. I could then, and I will now.
Being a teenager with so much pressure from coaches, family, and teammates, I would either crack under pressure or thrive-- also the plight of the Earth Angel!
This was God's design for me though. He allowed me to make my own choices, but also allowed obstacles, predators, and intrusive thoughts to get in my way.
God also put me back together again. Not only did he allow all of those things, but when I opened my heart to goodness, to knowledge, and to truth, He directed me to people who enhanced my being and skills. This allowed me to initiate my healing journey.
I have been kind of stuck in the physical realm with worries about money and just other worldly matters, but I have been focusing on my dreams. Not only my aspirations, of course, but also my dreams that occur during sleep time. For about two months before my new job, I would dream and wake up every morning around 2:30-4:30 am to record them.
It was exhausting to be completely honest, so one night I prayed that the dreams would slow down so I could get some rest, and that's just what happened. It was not until almost two weeks ago that I started dreaming again.
I have dreamt three times of late about my abuser from high school. Last night, it was of his wife and he. I was asking them how to cook some vegetables-- succotash, eggplant, and some asiago cheese sticks. It was my task to make the dish, like come up with the flavor palette and cook from scratch basically. I was on the other side of them in the kitchen, but also when I have these dreams with him in them, I am in a tunnel. So I was in a tunnel for a little bit with just him, but then he and his wife were on the other side, in the living room, sitting on the couch, and eating something out of a bowl. I was also fixing that for them. The last thing that I remember was coming out from the kitchen, and I was actually next to him. Then I asked his wife, who was across the couch, how she would prepare this dish of vegetables.
One thing significant that I remember was that my abuser and I connected emotionally since the last time that we personally spoke together, which was about 7 years ago. We did not speak of the incident, but that we were both relieved to see each other. He had a mustache and looked much older than the last time I saw him.
A while back I was googling everything that occurred in my dreams until I began reading a introduction to Freud's dream analysis. Although there are universal signs and symbols, most of them are just archetypal energies and meanings. The meaning is personal to the dreamer. That's what Freud was getting at in the part that I read. He taught how to trace back the dream to events that happened in the previous day or weeks, but to also look at the content because it was telling something more in depth. The scenery is from our subconscious and what we experience, but the symbols, movements, thoughts during the dream, and everything else signify something much more in depth.
When pondering the reason that I have dreamt of him so often as of late, my thoughts take me back to a Facebook memory to prom 7 years ago. And of course, this is the time of the year that the abuse and affair began, a few days after my junior prom. I have unresolved issues with this.
I woke up this morning and wanted to write down this dream first thing, but my spirit wanted to stay in bed. I meditated, cooked breakfast, and when I sat down to write this entry, I asked to be connected with Source. My first thought was the first line, "We Earth Angels.."
So maybe this is where I needed to share my dream, its details, and maybe its significance, of which I'm not completely sure yet. But also, I wanted to share what was on my heart.
And honestly, there are many things on my heart lately. I feel like this is the same feeling that I face every three months-- change and movement. I need to seek out spiritual teachers who can help me through these times and help me sort through the rubbish of the physical world obstacles, but that also takes money. So at the moment, I am just waiting for a paycheck so that I can take my next step.
Being an Angel stuck on Earth is Divine, especially when we realize this about ourselves.
We were sent here for specific reasons; I know this, but I just have to keep reminding myself that seeking truth and love with my whole heart is the absolute reason for my present incarnation on Earth. God has done amazing things in and through my life, and I cannot wait to be able to heal people like I'm supposed to do. "But patience, Britta," are the words that came through my mind just now. See? How amazing are these gifts! When trusting God, Jesus, and the angels, nothing can stop us.
I know there will be a time, place, and circumstance to jump-and-kick start my adventure for God. In the meantime, I will be writing and waiting.
In light and love,
Britta
For me, it was the euphoria of marijuana, the drive for perfectionism, and the satisfying drain of fried food. (P.S. I love cheese sticks!)
As I grew into and out of my adolescence, I found that when I enjoyed something, I had to have it to the extreme. There was no in-between for me. But that's a characteristic of Earth Angels. We have a hard time handling emotions. Another characteristic are traumas and losses, which I also have as well. They will not stop, but God knows I can handle them. I could then, and I will now.
Being a teenager with so much pressure from coaches, family, and teammates, I would either crack under pressure or thrive-- also the plight of the Earth Angel!
This was God's design for me though. He allowed me to make my own choices, but also allowed obstacles, predators, and intrusive thoughts to get in my way.
God also put me back together again. Not only did he allow all of those things, but when I opened my heart to goodness, to knowledge, and to truth, He directed me to people who enhanced my being and skills. This allowed me to initiate my healing journey.
I have been kind of stuck in the physical realm with worries about money and just other worldly matters, but I have been focusing on my dreams. Not only my aspirations, of course, but also my dreams that occur during sleep time. For about two months before my new job, I would dream and wake up every morning around 2:30-4:30 am to record them.
It was exhausting to be completely honest, so one night I prayed that the dreams would slow down so I could get some rest, and that's just what happened. It was not until almost two weeks ago that I started dreaming again.
I have dreamt three times of late about my abuser from high school. Last night, it was of his wife and he. I was asking them how to cook some vegetables-- succotash, eggplant, and some asiago cheese sticks. It was my task to make the dish, like come up with the flavor palette and cook from scratch basically. I was on the other side of them in the kitchen, but also when I have these dreams with him in them, I am in a tunnel. So I was in a tunnel for a little bit with just him, but then he and his wife were on the other side, in the living room, sitting on the couch, and eating something out of a bowl. I was also fixing that for them. The last thing that I remember was coming out from the kitchen, and I was actually next to him. Then I asked his wife, who was across the couch, how she would prepare this dish of vegetables.
One thing significant that I remember was that my abuser and I connected emotionally since the last time that we personally spoke together, which was about 7 years ago. We did not speak of the incident, but that we were both relieved to see each other. He had a mustache and looked much older than the last time I saw him.
A while back I was googling everything that occurred in my dreams until I began reading a introduction to Freud's dream analysis. Although there are universal signs and symbols, most of them are just archetypal energies and meanings. The meaning is personal to the dreamer. That's what Freud was getting at in the part that I read. He taught how to trace back the dream to events that happened in the previous day or weeks, but to also look at the content because it was telling something more in depth. The scenery is from our subconscious and what we experience, but the symbols, movements, thoughts during the dream, and everything else signify something much more in depth.
When pondering the reason that I have dreamt of him so often as of late, my thoughts take me back to a Facebook memory to prom 7 years ago. And of course, this is the time of the year that the abuse and affair began, a few days after my junior prom. I have unresolved issues with this.
I woke up this morning and wanted to write down this dream first thing, but my spirit wanted to stay in bed. I meditated, cooked breakfast, and when I sat down to write this entry, I asked to be connected with Source. My first thought was the first line, "We Earth Angels.."
So maybe this is where I needed to share my dream, its details, and maybe its significance, of which I'm not completely sure yet. But also, I wanted to share what was on my heart.
And honestly, there are many things on my heart lately. I feel like this is the same feeling that I face every three months-- change and movement. I need to seek out spiritual teachers who can help me through these times and help me sort through the rubbish of the physical world obstacles, but that also takes money. So at the moment, I am just waiting for a paycheck so that I can take my next step.
Being an Angel stuck on Earth is Divine, especially when we realize this about ourselves.
We were sent here for specific reasons; I know this, but I just have to keep reminding myself that seeking truth and love with my whole heart is the absolute reason for my present incarnation on Earth. God has done amazing things in and through my life, and I cannot wait to be able to heal people like I'm supposed to do. "But patience, Britta," are the words that came through my mind just now. See? How amazing are these gifts! When trusting God, Jesus, and the angels, nothing can stop us.
I know there will be a time, place, and circumstance to jump-and-kick start my adventure for God. In the meantime, I will be writing and waiting.
In light and love,
Britta
